My brain's been mean to me.
How I've been coping with a hard week.
I’m not a mental health expert.
I’ve never been diagnosed with any mental health condition, though I’ve been in and out of therapy a few times in my life. Like all of you, I have a brain, and some days it’s healthier than others. This was one of those weeks where I was already feeling more anxious than usual and I couldn’t explain why.
Then the events of Saturday, July 13 happened, and the fallout sent my anxiety into a tailspin.
When trying to explain to my very attentive husband, I kept saying, “My brain’s being mean to me today.” (Hey look, it’s the title!) Like I said, I’m not an expert on mental health, and most of the time, I’m not stellar at managing my own. However, I did want to share a couple of the simple, zero-cost things I’ve been doing this week that have been immensely helpful to me. These may not work for everyone, and some people may need additional resources like therapy and/or medication, but again, I am not the person to prescribe them to you. OK, I think I’ve drawn out this disclaimer long enough.
1. Clean one small corner.
I love the feeling of a good deep clean. Charlie and I deep-cleaned our kitchen and bathrooms on Saturday and it felt amazing. However, on particularly anxious days, cleaning is too overwhelming.
My mom told me a simple tip a few months ago: Pick one corner or small area and clean that. Our bedroom might still be a mess, but at least all my shoes are off the floor and in the closet, so I’m OK with that.
2. Say the scary thing.
In the words of the “say the weird thing” lady on TikTok, people are desperately seeking realness. Over the course of this week, I had to admit some really raw, ugly feelings. However, I’m pretty good at admitting feelings to myself; it’s sharing with other people that’s challenging. When I finally had an honest conversation with my husband about what I was feeling, I broke down sobbing like I haven’t since my Granny died over a year ago. I don’t know much about exorcisms because even researching them is too scary for wimpy ol’ me, but it truly did feel like a massive darkness was lifted from me once I said the scary thing and let my husband hold me while I cried.
If you don’t have someone IRL you feel safe saying the scary thing to, say it out loud to yourself, or write it down. I promise, once it’s out there, it no longer has the power to eat away at you.
3. Turn your phone on airplane mode.
I know, we’ve been lectured to tears about how we as a society are too addicted to our phones and social media. But much like our parents telling us about the importance of brushing our teeth, following what the lecturers say is helpful. Am I saying we all need to get a dumb phone? No. I manage social media for my side hustle; I know that’s not possible for me right now. However, I do find that putting up boundaries around my phone use actually does help. Whether its using airplane mode or putting your phone in another room (and not right by your bed…which I do far too much), time away from the social media void does help.
4. Light the candles.
I haven’t been able to get behind the “warm lighting” or “mood lighting” trend in home decor. Dim lights are fun and sexy when I’m out at a vibey bar, but in my own house, I cannot have a single dark corner. (Back to me being a wimp.) However, my first Georgia power outage this week forced me to light every single candle I owned for a few hours, and I have to say, I loved it. Seeing all my favorite candles lit up made me so happy and cozy. So maybe there is something to the argument against cold, sterile LED lightbulbs.
5. Consider what media you consume.
This is not a fake news rant, I promise. What I mean is that there is certain content that may be OK for you to consume when your mental and emotional state is more stable but that may not be wise to consume when you’re feeling more frazzled. Only you know what’s best for you.
6. Spend time with friends that fill you up.
And this is where all the introverts unsubscribe. Kidding.
Seriously though, especially if you’re an extrovert, spending time with supportive, kind people gets you out of your own head and focused on others. Truly the highlights of my week have been spending time with loved ones. And the best part is that most of those times didn’t involve spending a ton of money. Going to my regular Bible study and our young marrieds group brought me so much joy. I’ll save this for another post, but the Lord truly does answer prayers, and the friends I’ve made so far in Atlanta are a testimony to that.
If it’s been a rough mental health week for you, I’m thinking of you and praying for you. You are loved more than you could ever imagine.
Off My Bookshelf
This one’s pretty straightforward: I give my initial thoughts on a book I just finished. Also, there may be spoilers. Sorry.
South to America: A Journey Below the Mason-Dixon to Understand the Soul of a Nation by Imani Perry: I feel weird talking about this book as a white woman from multiple generations of Northerners who only recently moved down South. But I will do my best. This book is beautifully researched and written. It helped me understand my adopted home on a deeper level—including all the ugliness—and also wrestle with how my own Northern upbringing gave me a lot of notions about how backwards the South was/is. Spoiler alert: Being from the North doesn’t make you morally or ethically superior. I selfishly wish the Atlanta chapter was a lot longer, but Perry is from Birmingham, so I get it. I will be returning to that chapter in the future.
This book was a challenging one, but a necessary challenge. I also really recommend the audiobook, read by Perry herself. There’s a lot I’m still processing about this book, and I probably will be for a long while—which is a very good thing.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - 4.5 stars
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ATL Spotlight of the Week
This week’s edition is extra special because it’s decided by…my parents! They came to visit for the week of the Fourth of July, and so I asked them what their favorite Atlanta activity was: “It’s a tie. The aquarium was fabulous. Also sitting around in your living room and playing the initial game and laughing together.” (They’re the best, I know. 🥹 Also, I guess I have to explain the initial game in a future post?)
Free Things that Make Me Happy
I started doing a blog series about this a while back and I still love the idea, so I’m bringing it to Substack! And for the purposes of not splitting hairs, my definition of “free” is “not spending money I haven’t already spent.” OK? OK.
Dinner dates on the rooftop. One of the many reasons we chose our apartment building is the rooftop, which has a beautiful view of downtown Atlanta. Earlier this summer, Charlie had the idea of having weekly dinner dates when we cook dinner together and then eat it on the rooftop. They’ve been some of my favorite memories of our first year here.
Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what other topics you’d like to see from me, and I will see you next time.
